I can’t stop eating. I eat because I’m unhappy, and I’m unhappy because I eat. It’s a vicious cycle.

Fat Bastard

That’s easily, and unironically, one of my favorite movie quotes. 😅 I’ve been overweight for most of my adult life. A few years ago, I went down a dress size through intermittent fasting and was coasting for a good while. Of course, the international family move last year ruined all of that. When I was in the US and Caribbean, I didn’t get to walk a lot and ended up indulging far too much. All it took was 6 months of intense stress and easy access to comfort food to undo almost all my progress.

I’m a short lady in her 30s with a desk job… 👩‍💻 All the cards are stacked against me.

It sounds so stupid when I think about it. There are so many real issues going on in the world and one of my main hang-ups in life revolves around how hard it is to not spend my disposable income on edible garbage. 🤪

But I digress. Since IF was the only thing I could actually stick to without truly suffering, I went right back to that. All that actually looks like for me is no convenience store sandwich and sugary coffee before work, meaning I eat two times a day. No food groups cut; I eat whatever I want while being somewhat mindful. Years of counting calories turned me into a master at eyeballing them lol so I don’t really have to think hard about that part. Just cutting out the 400 calories I’d have in the morning and going out for walks means I have room to have my favorite sugary snacks if I really wanted to and still lose weight slowly. 💁‍♀️

Everything about weight loss boils down to adherence. Altering my daily routine was crucial. In the morning, I’m an ant on autopilot. There’s no thinking involved: I enter the conbini, head straight for the self-checkout machine, get my black coffee, and leave. I work until lunch time at 2. I don’t have any light headedness or other issues, just your typical hunger pangs. I also avoid buying as many extra things at the supermarket as I used to. The saying that goes “don’t start no stuff, it won’t be no stuff” has a cousin and it’s “don’t stock no snacks, won’t eat no snacks.” Out of sight out of mind. Plus, snacks, in this economy? 😔 (I still buy snacks, just fewer than in the past.)

It still sucks coming to terms with the fact that I just can’t eat how I used to when I was younger. Don’t think most people want to entertain the idea that weight loss and maintenance entail a life-long commitment, as in forever. There’s no “dieting” for a couple weeks or months and then everything’s done. We can all agree that’s kiiind of depressing, right? 🫠

Still, the only thing that would make me more miserable is not doing anything to change. No matter how hard things get, I like to think of it like this: my height is a const, but my weight is a var. I’m only now feeling good about leaving food on my plate instead of forcing myself to eat it all. Throwing food away feels like a waste but feeling 100% full and pushing on to eat that last 1/5 of a portion (just because it’s still tasty) does me no favors and makes me feel mildly bad after. Like, I want all of the food, but I don’t NEED all of it lol

I was also walking as much as possible earlier in the year before it got blazing hot. Anywhere from 7k-15k steps is fine as my only form of exercise. I’ve always hated exercising. A 1-hour walk vs 30 minutes of running? I’ll take the long walk. 🧍‍♀️Haven’t hopped on a scale in over a year, but I’m fitting into my old clothes now so whatever I’m doing is working. 👍 Anyway, I’ve read this post over a few times and maybe it’s time to stop rambling about this here since I could go on forever…