Warning: This post is all about yucking people’s yums 😅

Just like the image of the Babadook, Snow Man’s Yum Yum Yum ~ Spicy Girl ~ is something I reluctantly think about late at night when my brain refuses to let me sleep. My first time experiencing this song and video left me with the same feeling I had at the end of watching Hereditary.

The difference is that I loved Hereditary. Now, that doesn’t mean I hate Yum Yum Yum ~ Spicy Girl ~. I mean, I definitely don’t like it, but I’ll get an urge to listen to the whole thing from time to time.

If I were to rate this song based on cringe factor, it’d get 10s, 10s, 10s across the board. And, you know what? I love cringe! It makes me feel alive. I’m having the time of my life writing this while listening to the song once again. 🤭 Also, anytime I think of J-pop, this is what comes to mind without fail now. Now, on to the subjective and very arbitrary rating section.

Vocals and delivery: 2/10

On a slightly more serious note, the vocals are not good. Assemble any group of random high school boys, train them for a week and they’ll sound like this. The “A to the B to the C, tonight we’ll shake it” rap… The harmonizing at 0:48, the attempted belting? at 1:59. I just have beef with the delivery of every line.

This video has 32 million views, which is truly a testament to the immense tolerance that the general Japanese public has for subpar vocals. Maybe it doesn’t matter if you sound bad if people can either relate to you or find you cute. 🤷‍♀️

Awkward English usage: 100/10

The title Yum Yum Yum ~ Spicy Girl ~ says it all. I’m not sure the spicy euphemisms work when your song has as much swag as Weird Al Yankovic. Is it even meant to be at all scandalous? “Eating like an alligator”? “What a spicy girl, fantasticなtaste”? The solution to this problem would be to forgo the English entirely… But then this wouldn’t be the masterpiece that it is. Also, the Japanese lyrics are just as unserious.

DANCIN’ DANCIN’ BABY, BOUNCE, 濃厚なスペシャルソース (rich “special sauce”???) 👁👄👁

Choreography: 2/10

And I feel so bad because according to the YT blurb one of the members made it… [sorry to this man] The killer part at 2:28 with the red background where you just see their silhouettes looks indistinguishable from the kind of moves my dad would do to try and be funny.

There’s a palpable lack of swag, complexity, surprise, dynamics, impact. I just don’t understand.

Production/composition: 4/10

In general, the production isn’t bad compared to your typical song out there. But the random horn buzzing that’s present around 0:59 was a choice. I don’t know, something about the whole thing just reminds me of joke songs that groups like Kanjani8 used to make. It’s just…not cool. And that’s fine lol

Anyway, chile, Yum Yum Yum ~ Spicy Girl ~ has 32 MILLION views from myself and unironic fans of the song, who to me might as well be flat earthers.
Oh, to be the fly on the wall in the meeting room when some 偉いおじさん told them this would be their fate. What did they think when they heard the demo? I would love to know. 😣